The Life of the Sun

by Chelo Fansua

My name is Chelo Fansua. I am the co-founder of Mi Anatolia, which is an artistic/educational/motivational based company. Our mission is to creatively inspire students, at all levels, to lift their hearts and potential by discovering their Anatolia moment with love, hope, and purpose. Anatolia, Turkey is the first place where humans began crafting mirrors 8,000 years ago. I truly appreciate Founder Tomaca Govan and the rest of the team at WOMEN MOVE THE SOUL for the opportunity to share some thoughts that will provoke you to look within and become a source of inspiration to those that surround you.

Throughout my life, I have always admired the tremendous strength and courage that many mothers are forced to use each and every day. Like an unyielding rose that faces storms without releasing any of its petals, mothers have a natural tendency to protect their most precious belonging. My own mother, as an educator during the day and a night shift worker at a local restaurant, would sit with me to go over my homework every school night. Those valuable lessons planted thousands of seeds within my heart that have brought about a deep appreciation for the incomparable love and sacrifice a mother makes for her children.


MAMA, thank you for making me feel loved and protected longer than The Life of The Sun.



Unconditional Acceptance of Yourself

This is a reprint from  It’s a very short article, but a great one.  Women especially are so guilty of bashing ourselves because of the way that we look.  The media constantly tells us that we have to be “stick thin,” pretty and have long, flowing hair.  Leo Babauta tells the truth in the most simplistic way.  We should adopt these truths for ourselves and learn to love ourselves unconditionally.


Many of us are familiar with the idea of loving our spouses, children, or parents unconditionally — and we might even try to practice that unconditional love, though imperfectly.loveme2

But do we try to love ourselves unconditionally?

Consider whether you do any of these (I sure do):

  • Criticize your body.
  • Feel like you need to improve at things.
  • Feel guilty about things you do.
  • Feel undisciplined, lazy, unhappy with yourself.
  • Not feel good enough.
  • Fear that you’re going to fail, because you’re not good enough.
  • See yourself as not that good looking.
  • Feel bad about messing up.

loveme3For many of us, there’s an underlying feeling of not being good enough, wanting to be better, wanting to be in better shape or better at things. This isn’t something we think about much, but it’s there, in the background.

What if we applied unconditional acceptance of who we are? What if we took a good look at ourselves, our body, our thoughts, our feelings, our actions, and said, “You are perfectly OK. You are perfectly good”?

Would that be a whole different experience for you? Could you accept every single thing about yourself, just as you are, without feeling that it needs to be changed?

I know what many people will immediately say: “But what’s wrong with wanting to improve, with seeing things that need to be improved? Doesn’t feeling bad about ourselves motivate us to change?”

Yes, it can be a motivator. But feeling bad about yourself can also be an obstacle: people who feel that they are fat, for example, are more likely to eat poorly and not exercise, because they see themselves as fat. They are likely to feel bad about themselves and to comfort themselves with food, alcohol, cigarettes, TV, Internet addictions.

What if instead, you loved yourself, fat body and all? What if you loved yourself, laziness and all? What if you loved yourself, all that is ugly and incompetent and mean, along with the beauty and brilliance and kindness?

This person who loves herself (or himself) … she’s more likely to take actions that are loving. Doing some mindful yoga, or taking a walk with a friend after work, eating delicious healthy food like beans and veggies and nuts and berries and mangos and avocados, meditating, drinking some green tea … these are loving actions.

Acceptance isn’t stagnation — you will change no matter what. You can’t avoid changing. The question is whether that change comes from a place of acceptance and love, or a place of self-dislike and dissatisfaction. I vote for unconditional love.

Tasheena Womack Striving for A “Brighter Within”


Did you have your own experiences with dating violence?

Yes, unfortunately at the age of 17 & 22 I experienced dating violence.



How did you come up with the concept for Brighter Within

I came up with the concept of Brighter Within in graduate school. I knew what I went through and after doing tons of research, turning in my thesis and consulting with other students. I knew there was a true need for the program in my community.



People begin or support organizations that they are passionate about.  Why are you passionate about the services that your organization provides?

I’m passionate about the services BW provides is due to the need in the community. I remember growing up and the same programs today being offered. I wish there was a program when I was growing up like BW. Due to the violence in my community, I could not take full advantage of some of the programs. I take boys and girls from five different towns/cities in a non-judgmental, non-bullying event and provide them with the tools they need to be successful in life.


Brighter Within supports both females and males.  Is your male participation where you would like it to be? 

Actually, our boys program has exceeded my expectations. The boys are really committed to the program and love coming.



Are the young people responsive to the techniques that they learn in workshops?  Can you give some success examples?

Almost a lot of the services we provide for our youth. Our main goal is to provide them with the tools they need to be successful in life. Our youth have been very responsive. For instance we had a youth who who’s friend showed signs of being aggressive in a relationship. His friend was very controlling and verbally abusive to his girlfriend. The friend was in college and the girl friend was still in high school. That day we went over teen dating violence and after our group. I was approached by the young man and I was able to arrange an intervention with the parents. Once the young man saw what path he was going down he changed his ways. I actually received a Thank You card from the girl friend and the family. They had no idea what was going on.



Why do you personally think that dating violence is a reality?  How is society responsible for the actions of young people?

Unfortunately we hear too often about dating violence. From the news to the celebrities below:


Jovan Belcher victim: Kasandra Perkins

Ray Rice victim: Mrs. Rice

Chris Terry victim: Wife

Ray McDonald victim: Fiancé

Society is responsible when they see a need and does nothing resolve the problem.



What kinds of things need to happen or change in society to make a difference for young people today?

A lot of our youth follow everything that see, from in movies, videos, and in the music industry. Our youth need more people that would like to step up to the plate as role models.



How can young people learn to be different when they are bombarded with sex and violence through a variety of media?

A strong foundation at home will assist youth with the peer pressure today. Teaching our youth early to not be a follower, and to carry themselves as a positive role model as well, because our younger children are looking up to them.



How long has your Brighter Within been running?

Brighter Within was founded in 2012. However, the concept was created in 2010.



How many young people has the organization been able to help?

Brighter Within has been able to assist over 200 people with our various services.


Why kinds of things do you need to, first, keep the organization running and second, to be able to grow to accommodate more young people?

Without funding, the support from our community, and a larger space it’s would be impossible to keep BW growing and running smoothly to accommodate the need in the community.



Where do the adult volunteers come from and how do they find out about you?

Most of our volunteers find us through social media and word of mouth. Our volunteers are mostly in college and/or recently graduated.



Tell us about the Women’s Circle.  How did that get started, who is invited and what is the goal?

The Women’s Circle started as a club for Women entrepreneurs and aspiring entrepreneurs. This group was started as a support system for female entrepreneurs. One of the biggest reasons businesses fail during the first five years of starting is due to the lack of support and education. The goal of the services is to be a support system for women who are entrepreneurs and provide them with the tools they need to keep their business open.


What plans or aspirations do you have for the future for Brighter Within?

The possibilities of BW are endless. I would love to have our programs/services fully funded and free to youth in NY/CT and MA.


For more information or to find ways that you can help, please contact:

Tasheena N. Womack
Chief Executive Director
Brighter Within, Inc.

Phone: (860)580-9511



Facebook and Twitter




The Be Life & Tiffany Wright

We love it when we interview someone and they come back with powerful updates.  Tiffany informed us that she has published her first book and is now booking speaking engagements to uplift women.

Tiffany FB Banner Promo updated

“Be Love, Self Love, Daily Intentions Guiding to Self Love”  can be ordered from her website here:–get-the-book.html


We proudly share a picture from her first talk at Loyola Marymount University.

lmu 5


Congratulations Tiffany in recognizing that you are a women who moves the soul!  We look forward to hearing more good news.


If you would like to read our interview with her, click the link:


Get Rid of the Hateful Words!


from Tomaca Govan, Editor


There is constant chatter in our heads.  It’s constant.  Our minds are always talking whether we pay attention to it or not.  A lot of us are full of negativity when it comes to us and our bodies.  We are not quite satisfied with how we may look, talk, think or even act.  Recognition is the greatest motivator.  Pay attention to what you are saying about you.  Your body is the result of the collection of thoughts that you think about you.  So, if you tell yourself that I am ugly, or I am fat, then that is what you will be.

iloveme3Tell yourself today that there will be no more hateful words thought or spoken by yourself about yourself.   Turn the phrase “I am fat” into “I am beautiful.”  Turn “I hate my nose” into “I’ve got a great nose.  It functions perfectly and serves me well.”  If there is negative talk in your head, turn it around!


To help get rid of the negative chatter, establish this little practice daily:

Stand naked in front of the mirror.

Touch your face, tell your face it is beautiful and you love it.

Touch your shoulders and say thank you for being so strong, I love you.

Turn around and take a look at your back and say – you are so strong – I love you.

Turn back around touch your stomach, tell it is perfect and you love it.

Touch your breasts and tell them they are beautiful and you love them.

Touch your hair or your head and say you are phenomenal and gorgeous.

Do this for each part of you.  Acknowledge everything your body does and praise it, praise its functioning.  Then I-love-me2hug yourself, hold yourself.  Smile and tell you that you love you.  Tell you that you are an amazing human being and your body is an incredible, miraculous machine and you are so grateful to it.  It is your temple, the place where you live and you could not have a better place.

Anytime you catch yourself thinking something negative about you or a part of your body – catch yourself and turn it around.

For instance, say you make a mistake.  You may be inclined to tell yourself “I am so stupid!  How could I do that!”  Grab that and say instead “I made a mistake, but look at what I learned.  Now I know better for the next time.  I am grateful for the lesson.”  See how different that sounds?  That’s what you should practice to the point where positive responses are automatic.

It’s about gratitude and appreciation for who you are, what you have and the fact that you are alive.  Gratitude is everything.  A positive mindset can see the light in any dark situation, grab on to it and turn that situation completely around.

You are not “too fat.”  You are “beautiful.”

Your body will respond to the positive thoughts and act/develop accordingly.  Your confidence will increase and loveme4you will develop an inner glow and peace about yourself once you stop putting you down.  There’s enough of that outside of us always trying to get it.  But, if we get rid of our own hateful words, then we will find less of that coming from the outside.  Replace negative words with words of with love and encouragement.  Treat yourself the same way that you would treat your frustrated child or your girlfriend who is down.   Be happy about you.  Love you.  Be proud of you.  Be grateful for life and the opportunity to change and to grow.  Be grateful for the love that you have within yourself and for the love that is outside of you.

I have to add that I am not perfect, not by a long shot.  I have my issues and my own personal challenges.  But, this is something that I do and it has helped me greatly to be more positive, confident and loving to myself.  I love me!  There was a time that I could not say that.  And, I am motivated to create a better me and to enjoy life more and more.

So, you can do this.  This is something that you can do for you and as a result everyone around you will benefit.  Shine little star shine!


Deborah Cantor – Motorcycle Mechanic

Who says a woman can’t fix cars n stuff?  Ha!

Deborah Cantor has been a motorcycle mechanic for seven years now.  She says her father taught her from the time she could sit on the bike and ride with him.


“He was always outside tinkering with his bike.  He had an old Harley.”

She said that she wandered outside one day and started watching.  Then she braced herself to start handing him the tools he needed.  She quickly learned the difference between all of the different tools and their names.  She said it was like when you’re at the dentist or with a doctor in surgery and they’re asking for various tools and the assistant passes them on.  From there she learned about tweaking different parts, tightening this, loosening that.  Then there’s the tell all of everything and that’s the sound of the engine.   Is it running too hard, too high, too low, too rough?  It’s like the heartbeat of the motorcycle and you can learn how to diagnose or at least know what parts to take a look at by the sound of the engine.


She has her own bike and has since she was 17.  Whenever her bike needs to be fixed, she’s excited that she is the one that can fix it.  There are a ton of  discount motorcycle parts that are easily found, she says.

She’s every bit of daddy’s little girl.    When asked how Mom felt about what she did, she says her mom was glad that dad got a bit of the son he always wanted!

Venture to do whatever moves your soul ladies!



My Business Trip to Chicago



I recently took a trip to great old Chicago.  Among all the blah, blah, blah during the meetings all I could think about was getting a deep tissue massage which was going to be my reward after the very last meeting of the day.  Other people wanted to connect further and go get a drink and food, but that was furthest thing on my mind. I needed to spend some time with myself in a relaxing environment and so I did.

It’s been a long run for me.  Though most of my work is play, lately there’s been just too much work added into the play.  But, that’s a mindset and one that I don’t have to confront as much as I used to, but from time to time, I deal with it and have to correct myself.  I love what I do.  I love the way that I spend my time, I just wish I had more time!

This trip to Chicago was important and many things were resolved and put into place.  However, the most important thing that was resolved for me was some much needed relaxation.

So remember, ladies, take some time out for you.  YOU TIME!  It’s go time for you time anytime you feel you need it.  If you can’t get away here are a few ideas that cost next to nothing except a bit of your precious time:


tomaca-relaxtake a walk

sit outside in the beautiful sun at lunch time

go for a drive along a nice, scenic route

lock yourself in the bathroom and take a long, hot bath

nature rejuvenates – take a walk in the park or in the woods (just be safe – don’t go into isolated areas!)

sit around and watch the geese

is there a horse farm around?  – go and hang out for a while

volunteer to help out at an animal shelter – (they usually don’t like one-time deals, but ask anyway)

go visit a farm

go pick vegetables or fruit at your local farm when the season hits

go indoor wall climbing

hook up with some other ladies or the girls in the neighborhood and jump rope!!

look in the mirror, hug yourself and tell you that you love you!  (this should actually be done daily)

I like to occasionally take myself to lunch – go to a nice restaurant late and just hang out with myself writing notes and getting this organized.

go out dancing with your girlfriends – or better yet – invite them over and blast the music!

do a drop-in on a dance class and express yourself

just get loose and get funky

play dress up and get yourself all dolled up and take your picture

pretend you are being interviewed and sit and answer questions that you ask of yourself (might be some revealing things that come out about you!)



If you have your own favorite things to do, please share!


Erin Pavlina – Tuning into Spirit Guides


Erin-Pavlina-Gray-BG-300x200We subscribe to Erin Pavlina’s posts via email.  Women Move the Soul has reposted some of her articles because they are uplifting, inspiring and insightful.  From time to time, it’s nice to check in with a psychic or a medium to help us to get a standing of where we are and where we’re headed in our lives.  For most of us, life is a mystery and sometimes you would like to know that you are on the right track or if and how you should alter things to make positive changes.  That’s what Erin does for people.



How did you first learn that you were intuitive or psychic?  How old were you, what happened and what validation did you receive?

When I was very young, around age 4, I started having dreams that were premonitions of future major events.  I would know someone had died before being told.  I could tell who was on the phone when it rang.

When I was around 10 years old I was driving with my mother and told her we had to stop and get flashlights immediately.  She was perplexed at my urgency but she stopped and got 3 flashlights.  That night my parents went out to dinner, leaving us home alone with our older brother.  A thunderstorm knocked out our lights and we huddled under the covers with our new flashlights until our parents got home.

Over the years, I started having communication with deceased loved ones.  And from there I embraced my intuitive abilities and started developing them consciously, to the point I’m at today of being a professional intuitive, using my skills and abilities to help others.

Was there a “teacher” or “teachers” – someone who helped you to develop your gift as you grew older?  Were there things that you did to further develop your skills?

I read a lot of books when I was young, but nothing out there really described how to develop intuition.  When I was an adult, I had some spontaneous communications with other people’s deceased relatives and started to wonder if I was able to do that on command.  So I looked around for training but kept getting blocked.  Either the course was too expensive, too far away, already sold out, etc.  So finally my own spirit guides told me how to tune in to other people’s guides and deceased loved ones, and I learned quickly from them.

To develop my skills, I basically started giving messages to friends and family, and when that resonated with them, I asked them to bring me strangers to read for.  After I had read for about 120 strangers, I realized I had a reliable ability and started doing it professionally.

What are your specific strengths?  In terms of your psychic ability, are there things that you cannot help people with?  For instance, can you also communicate with living animals?

I’m mainly clairvoyant and clairaudient.  When I connect with spirit guides, they give me metaphorical images to explain what’s going on with my client’s life.  Or they will just speak to me in a way that I can hear them clearly without needing to interpret what they’re saying.  I can sometimes speak with deceased family members but not in every reading.  I’ve connected with deceased animals but not live ones.  My ability to connect with a person’s guides is very strong, and I use that connection to relay information that will help my client on their life path.  The advice given is usually extremely practical and useful.

Knowing that all human beings have the innate ability to be more knowing or intuitive, why do you think a lot of people do not endeavor to develop this skill?  Is it that they just don’t think it’s possible for them…are they afraid…just don’t think about it?  What’s your opinion?

Yes all of those reasons.  Many people think you have to be born with intuition, but that’s not true as we are all born with the innate ability.  Intuition is like a muscle.  You have to exercise it in order to use it effectively and with strength.  And yes, many people are afraid of what they might encounter on the other side.  And still others don’t believe intuition or talking to spirits is possible.

In your experience, what are people most afraid of in life in general and why should they not be afraid?

I’d say people get too caught up in fear.  They have forgotten that this is a playground where we get to explore, have fun, share, learn, and grow.  They forget they are a spiritual being having a human experience.  And they can’t remember who they really are and where they really come from.  I believe that when you remember that nothing here can truly harm you, it frees you up to enjoy the adventure a lot more.

Erin Pavlina

In your role as a professional psychic, what is the most often asked question of you?

There are two actually that come with the greatest frequency.  “When will I get married and/or find the right person for me?”  and “How can I transition into a career that will be more fulfilling?”  Dissatisfaction with career and relationship status are the two most common issues that cause people to seek me out.

Sometimes we may have a question and we think that we don’t get an answer because the answer we get is not what we were “consciously” looking for.  Were there questions that you answered for someone in this manner and they chose not to accept it because it wasn’t the answer they wanted?  And, were you able to get them to understand the message and leave satisfied?

For the most part, information relayed through the guides resonates with my clients.  Often what they are told is confirmation of what they were feeling or thinking, but hearing it from a complete stranger who doesn’t know them gives them that validity that their thoughts are not crazy.  I’ve had clients resist information their guides were giving them, and then later come back and tell me the guides were right.

It is said that God tests us or the Universe tests us to see how bad we may want something.  But, in reality, is it a “test,” or is that person subconsciously putting up their own obstacles out of fear or because they feel they don’t deserve something they desire?

Exactly, you can manifest just about any experience you want to have, but people send out a fear vibration which will block success from happening.  What you think about, you bring about.  So if you’re cruising the fear channel, you’ll get experiences aligned with your expectations.

Do you ever see big, major events that are catastrophic beforehand?

Not really.  That happened to me more when I was younger.  Nowadays though I can tune in to a tragedy and get information about what happened or what is happening.  I’ve used my abilities to help the police find missing or deceased people, which is very rewarding, but rarely do I get information about something that is going to happen because the future is not set in stone.  Until something actually happens there are infinite possibilities.

Knowing that everything happens for a reason, if you do see negative events either major or minor, can you prevent them or do you try?  And, would it be “spiritually” correct for you to do so?

If you get the information I think it’s spiritually okay to act on it.  If the guides and beings on the other side don’t want us to know something, they can block us from receiving it.  So I think if you get information, using it is fair game.

When I’m reading for a client, I can see how certain decisions will turn out.  My job as an intuitive is to give my client their options, informing them of what kind of experience they will have down each possible road.  Then it’s up to them to decide what road they want to travel, but at least they are armed with a map to help guide them and help them prevent pitfalls.  That’s why getting an intuitive reading is so powerful.  It can shave years off your learning curve, save you from making a costly mistake, and prevent you from being unhappy.

What do you want most out of your own life?

To be in a state of joy as often as possible.  To have a sense of peace and fulfillment.  And to laugh as much as I can.

If you live to be 90 or 100 and you are looking back at your life, what will you see – what will you have done?

I have often taken a mental snapshot of where I think I am.  I know I have sent ripples of positive energy through the world, and that makes me really happy.  The more people I can help to have happy and fulfilling lives the happier I get.  I also now train others to use their intuitive abilities professionally which makes me really happy because I know that after I am gone there will be a cadre of ethical, honest, accurate intuitives to carry on this work without me.

Women move the soul.  Women are key.  We are important.  We are mothers, nurturers, life givers, strength, emotion…. Tell us what your spiritual understanding is of the role of women not just in life, but for the planet.

I think women are more likely to be open to trusting their intuition, so I believe that women can be great guides for our world.  If they have the courage to act on their intuition, I believe the world would be a better place.

Erin Pavlina
Awaken.  Remember.  Love

Tiffany Wright Wants to Help Women to Just “BE!”


We found Tiffany Wright and LivetheBeLife on twitter.  Her consistent positive tweets were appealing and we started retweeting them.  Then, we decided to check out the person and the company behind the tweets and here she is!

You’re very optimistic and happy. What was your childhood like?

tiff2In one word, dysfunctional, but I’ve come to learn many of us have dysfunctional childhoods in way or another because as humans, we’re dysfunctional…and if you’ve haven’t handled those dysfunctions, you raise children in the midst of them. My mother experienced a lot of trauma in my early years, so I was fortunate to be partly raised by my extended family. I got to experience different lifestyles, which kept me optimistic of things working out. Outside of normal dramas, my family nurtured me to be a kid and just have fun, be silly, and creative. I always was really dramatic so I loved playing dress up, being on cameras, making up little monologues, painting, and dancing. The biggest contributor to my optimism…was Disney. I’ve always been obsessed with Disney story lines and growing up as an only child it fueled my imagination for joy and possibility. I also spent a lot of time reading. My grandfather taught me to read by 3, and I read books monthly. He raised me to value education and critical thinking, so I was really a talkative child, and often just talked to my dolls and imaginary friends.


Was there something in your childhood or in your later years that helped you to discover self love?

Self love wasn’t a term I even came into terms with until 2 years ago, to be honest. I wanted to always study people because I wanted to learn about myself, “my crazy family” and why people do what they do. So I majored in Sociology and Psychology, and even though I learned about self image, self esteem, self concept, self fulfilling prophesy, and so many other ideas around the self, self love was never mentioned. After a pattern of unhealthy romantic relationships, and beginning a wellness journey to transform my mind and body, I discovered the notion of self love. I discovered that most decisions in your life are reflective of your sense of self love. Everything from your career, to what you eat, how often you read, what you watch and listen to, and the people you let in your life. I became obsessed mostly because on my wellness journey, I began to coach others, and realized that most people were in self-inflicted abusive relationships. It was a pivotal moment of consciousness for me. As I began to work on myself, everything started to come full circle. My decisions, and those of people around me, made sense. It helped me forgive others and myself. I was understanding where my models of self love came from, how they’ve impacted me, the decisions I make, and how I’ve shown up in the world, to myself and others. So adulthood helped me discover self love, but re-examining my childhood helped me understand the core of my being and the presence or lack thereof of self love I had.


Why are you so upbeat and happy? And, how do you stay grounded in terms of dealing with stress or emotions such as frustration and disappointment?

I’ve always been this way. I am blessed to have pretty positive family members, and to have always been nurtured with love from them. We all hide trauma and stress well, but believe in the power of just living your life no matter what’s going on. I didn’t realize that until literally right now, thanks Tomaca! The interesting thing is that even though I am this way, I go thru cyclical periods of depression, and I became aware of it when I was 22 (the pros of studying psychology and all diagnosable disorders) that it actually had been occurring since I was 7. When I was young I would usually watch something funny or go in some creative state when I felt “bad”. I guess it was my early defense mechanism that became a gateway of walking in gratitude, and taught me how to cope. As I’ve gotten older, and more aware of life, and my own cognitive processes, its now a psychological process. I understand that happiness is truly a choice, even though some of us are pre-disposed to have more upbeat dispositions. Mindfulness is very important, and its something that came with really being taught critical thinking skills. I’m more susceptible to stress vs. frustration/disappointment (it rarely occurs for me). I’m mindful that I can’t control other peoples emotions, nor can they control mine. My body is hypersensitive to stress, even if my mind seems relaxed. Deep breathing exercises are very helpful. Prayer, exercise, positive music, writing (which is why I started blogging), and dancing really help me. It just depends on the mood I’m in. I am most upbeat when mornings begin with gratitude’s, listening to spiritual messages and positive/spiritual music. Everyone has to find what works for them, but I say, whatever gives you the closest feeling of an out-of-body experience (minus drugs), or makes you feel warm and fuzzy, do those often!


You’ve done quite a few years of college. You obtained your master’s degree in social work. When you initially started college, was this your goal?

Not really. My goal ever since I was 7 was to be a child psychologist. Even as a child, I understood the emotional and mental sensitivity I experienced in relation to my family dynamic. I would always say, if my family is this crazy, I know there are other kids who feel like me, who have crazy families too. I had a family friend who was a psychologist; she told me if I had 8 years of school, I could help kids, so that’s what my intention was. I was too nervous to apply to phd programs right out of college, so I took the MSW route. Little did I know, it was more difficult then I thought…mentally and emotionally. One thing they didn’t emphasize was students going through their own counseling.

I had a psychologist in undergrad for 2 years but we never hit on the issues that I ended up facing while in graduate school, so I steered away from counseling due to my own challenges and decided to create amazing programs for individuals to receive services. I went to grad school at 21, so I had the understanding that I wanted to help the world, but had no concept of helping myself first. This revelation really bred the ground for BE! Even though I just launched the company, its been a vision of mine since 2010, and it was always intended to empower others to tap into the visions, and live powerful lives. So in the end, I didn’t take the route intended by me, but higher powers are often involved when we begin to walk in our purpose.


How did you become so interested in helping other women to uplift themselves?

Through my career, I’ve just connected to lack of opportunity out there for women to embrace themselves and be supported. Because of my studies, readings and traveling, I understand the state of women on a global level which is very different from a U.S. perspective. The female presence and energy is powerful to this world; it wouldn’t exist without her, but women don’t understand the full totality of their power, especially when coming together. We have made steps but have a long way to go, and I believe its through women loving themselves that a revolution will happen once again. You can only give what you have. When you love and understand what you need, you’re more empathic to what others need. As a millennial, I’m in the middle of this “selfie nation” and unhealthy sense of narcissism; and without judgment I can say that’s so opposite of me. That was me from 7-12; when I stayed looking in the mirror and always wanted to be in front of the camera. I always cared about me and what my family could do for me. “Self” for the sake of “Self” is not priority now. Building my Self to be a vessel, and live with purpose is a priority and I found a passion to help build other women on a similar journey. Social media is awesome, but often gives people the obligation of focusing on themselves, or what others think, so they can think and feel better about themselves. We are operating at extremes today; really forward moving women entrepreneurs, executives, philanthropists, and media figures who are all about promoting love and empowerment and then the other end of the women who primarily promote our body, clothing labels and sexual abilities and empower a woman to control her destiny with her body and looks. We are more than that. The sense of family has depleted. Our level for public decorum has been demolished, and I feel a priority to do what I can to impact some changes. We are all multifaceted beings, and everyone from the most conservative to the most sexually liberated should connect to that.


Obviously this fed your desire to start your own business to help women. Please tell us about what you do.

I run a life enhancement brand that promotes self love to inspire and empower women to live their best lives. I inspire thru my self love workshops and special events. I empower thru my blog, videos and social media. I teach wellness thru 1 on 1 coaching. BE! is all about women learning to unconditionally love themselves and operate at their highest capacity of BEing to live the life of their dreams, powerfully and passionately.


How long has your business been up and running?

I started wellness coaching in February 2013, and expanded to the blog in November because I had so much to say in regards to love, life, transformation and wellness. In March 2014, I started hosting self love workshops and special events for women in Los Angeles that have different topics but are always rooted in self love.

How do your clients find you?tiff logo

Most of my clients have found me via social media or by referral of other clients.


The need for these types of services is certainly great as a lot of us may become distraught or really sad about our lives. Give us an example – you would initially do an assessment of someone and then what type of program would you put in place for them?

Unless they are opposed to speaking on the phone, I do an initial assessment via phone or video chat, usually lasting 20 mins-30 mins, getting to know the individual, and what brought them to the point of contacting me. I really take a holistic approach and let them know, I mostly will focus on their mindset and spiritual journey (personal development), and from there, physical changes can be implemented (nutrition and fitness). Every client is different, but I customize programs according to their goals, budget, and lifestyle. I work with clients on major health and personal development goals (forgiveness, patience, understanding, etc.)


Once people sign up for coaching, do you find that they stay and if they do want to give up on themselves, what kinds of things to you say to keep them encouraged?

Most people give up on themselves. Which as time passed, I realized is the perfect explanation for why we as humans live unfulfilled lives. Fear, doubt, inability to be consistent are some common reasons we give up on ourselves. For the ones that stick through a coaching program, it’s because they listened to me about staying focused on their goal, their why, and personal development. The social worker in me truly believes in self determination and free will. The faith believer in me knows that if you plant seeds, and water them, they will bloom in due season. I am not the pressure type coach. I remind you of your why, but I don’t push. I believe people will truly give their all to something when they are ready. When I’m not actively working with someone, I continue to check on them, just say hi, or send a “you were on my mind” message. The greatest teachers never know their impact on students, and I feel the same way as a coach. I’d love to experience a transformation in front of my eyes, but that is not always the case. So in the end, I let them know, I am more than a coach. I am a friend and they can always reach out to me, no matter what.


What is your favorite saying? Is there just one that is your favorite and personally inspires you the most?

Fear defeats more people than anything else in this world- Ralph Waldo Emerson
It seems that what you do – coaching others and being available to others – is very time consuming. Do you put limits in place – for instance, do you have “office hours?”  And, being a coach and a friend that someone can reach out to, is there anything that would prevent a 2:00 am emergency phone call?

Initially it was time consuming and I was coaching 20-30 clients a month. Now since I’ve expanded what I do, I have a 10 client cap a month. I am available to my clients 24/7, but make sure to designate specific follow up times which are agreed discussion and follow up to their routine. I have absolutely had 2am phone calls, and if I’m awake or alert, I answer them. I believe people want people to talk to; we don’t know all the answers to life, and to have someone who wants to go on a journey like that with us, is special.

Is this your full-time work?

Yes it is. It’s all rather new to me, so I’m constantly learning. I’m thankful I have a supportive family network while I’m building the brand.

What happens to your work, especially your accessibility when you eventually have children and other obligations?

If I am out of town or busy with family time, I tell my clients they can send me questions via text but I may be off the grid. Children…are not on my radar right now, haha. I live everyday as it comes, and right now I am free as a bird.

BE Love,

Tiffany Wright
Founder of “Be!”
IG: @the_be_life

Step Up To the Plate


Reprinted with permission from


In fourth grade my friend Dawn and I decided to enter the school talent show. We came up with a song and dance routine from the musical “A Chorus Line.” We practiced for hours, we had cute costumes, we had our song memorized, our moves were perfectly choreographed.

The day of the audition came. I was nervous. But we went out and sang and danced our guts out. When it was over, I was thrilled. Excited even! I began to look forward to the actual talent show when we could sing and dance in front of a real audience.

Erin Pavlina
Erin Pavlina

But we had to wait to find out if we were going to be in the show.

The next day I was outside with my class for P.E. It was a baseball day. Ugh. I hated playing baseball. It’s hard to enjoy something you really suck at. I couldn’t field, couldn’t catch, couldn’t hit the ball, I always struck out. I don’t think I ever made it on base. I hated baseball so much that I would slink to the end of the bench hoping we wouldn’t have enough time for me to actually go up to bat.

That strategy usually worked, and I could avoid having to shame myself in front of my classmates when I struck out yet again.

But that day, luck was not with me. Things were moving too fast, and I was inching ever closer to the front end of the bench. I was so nervous to go up to bat. I hated hearing the taunts and jeers from my classmates who would tease me everytime I swung and missed.

Suddenly we were interrupted by someone giving my teacher a note. When she read it she looked over at me and Dawn and said, “Erin… Dawn… I am so sorry. I’m afraid you did not make it into the talent show.”

Huh? What?

I was dumbfounded.

She went on to say, “It says here they only had room for 30 acts, and yours was the only act not to be selected.”

The only act? They couldn’t fit one more act into the show? Seriously?

The blood started rushing through my ears. How humiliating. I apparently wasn’t good enough for a 4th grade talent show. Wow. I had thought we were pretty good too. Inside I was crushed. But mostly I was embarrassed to the point where I wanted to die of shame.

As I sat there, letting this sink in, I heard someone say, “Erin, GO! It’s your turn to bat!”

Oh great, now I would shame myself again by striking out.

But as I was walking up to bat, in a really numbed out state of mind, I suddenly got mad.

The shame, humiliation and embarrassment gave way to anger.

Really? 31 acts tried out and you only take 30? Who would do something like that to young, hopeful 10 year olds. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. We were good. I know we were. And I wouldn’t be in your precious little talent show now if you paid me!

I grabbed the bat and got into position. I was seething with anger, adrenaline pumping through my veins. I was barely aware of the people out on the field.

When the ball pitched through the air towards me, I could see it with laser focus. I swung the bat as hard as I could and connected with the ball. The power of that impact is something I still remember to this day. That ball was my frustration, and the bat was my anger.

I hit that ball so hard, it sailed right over the center fieldman’s head. I saw all the heads out on the field turn with open mouths and watch the ball go screaming past them.

The entire team on the bench was silent.

Then suddenly I heard someone say “Run, Erin, run!”

I’d never been in this position before. I wasn’t really prepared for what to do next.

I dropped the bat like I’d seen other players do, and started running to first base. Wow! Then I heard people say “Keep going, Erin. Keep running!”


I ran to second base. Again, more people cheering me on.

“Go, Erin, go!”

I kept running and hit third base. By now someone had retrieved the ball and was throwing it down the field.

But I kept running, determined to make it all the way home. And I did. And the team on the bench went wild, cheering, clapping, hooping and hollering.

And a little voice in my head said, “That’s who you are. Not the person that didn’t make it into a talent show. You’re the person who can hit a home run if she really wants to. Every time. You’ve got it in you.”

That experience stayed with me for years.

That was the day I learned that fear holds you back and doesn’t support you. That sometimes you have to get mad to get over fear. And that deep within you, you have the capacity to hit a home run. Every time.

Sometimes you don’t know what you’re capable of until you’re tested.

After that day, I was never afraid to go up to bat again. And I took that lesson with me into other aspects of my life. Step up to the plate. Show the world what you’ve got. Don’t be afraid to swing. You never know when you’re going to hit a home run!

5 Ways to Improve Self Awareness in Lucid Dreams


Self awareness is essential to every lucid dreamer. Self awareness for lucid dreaming is defined to be conscious of feelings and emotions through your dream. Having the ability to become self aware in a dream is what makes lucid dreams possible. You can become aware of your surroundings, your feelings and your desires enabling endless possibilities within the lucid dream.

I am going to share with you 5 methods you can become more self aware in both reality, and in your dreams.

Method #1: Observe Your Surroundings


As you lucid dream, it makes the task of becoming more aware of the dream far easier than not lucid dreaming. When entering a lucid dream, set yourself a goal of making detailed observations. Take into consideration the colors of everything which is being discovered, the things you may encounter, and even the different smells you observe. Taking all these things into consideration will allow for you to become more self-aware in the lucid dreams you have.

For example, if you enter a scene which seems to be unrealistic, deeply observe every detail you possibly can for an increased awareness. From the floor color, to the smell of the air. Don’t be afraid to spend a significant amount of time making observations of the scene – it can be fun!

Method #2: Observe Yourself


As you enter a lucid dream, strange things may happen; things out of the ordinary, which would not likely happen in real life. Now, how does it feel to watch and observe those things? Feels pretty strange, correct? That is completely expected, and is very common for lucid dreamers. However, what many people don’t do is observe feelings during these moments. Take a deep breath, and for a few moments you should observe your feelings. Are you feeling numb? Is your body aching? These are the sort of things you need to ask yourself within a lucid dream.

For me, I found that when I become lucid, my body gives numbing sensations although I am freely allowed to move. It’s a strange, but pleasurable feeling that can only be understood once experienced. I can assure you that when I woke up; it was one of the first things I noticed about the dream, and allowed me to instantly differentiate the dream from reality with further lucid dream experiences.

As you observe your physical state, you should then move on to more emotional aspects of your dream. Are you feeling anxious? Scared? Stressed? As you begin to open up to these feelings, you will allow for yourself to becoming more aware of your situation which can enhance the lucid dream experience.

Method #3: Imagine Impossible Scenarios


Being lucid in a dream gives you the opportunity to do whatever you please with your mind. This means you can explore deep scenarios which may definitely make no sense in real life, which is also heavily related to reality checking.

Take any item you can think of, and imagine something impossible happening to that item. For example, a glass full of water can be used to demonstrate the impossible scenario. Throw the glass against the wall and imagine it bouncing back into your hands. As you experiment with impossible scenarios, you will automatically have a more vivid memory rather than if they all made logical sense. Of course, a class is one of the infinite amounts of scenarios you can come up with to establish an impossible scenario.

Method #4: Imagine a Dream Scene


Each night before you sleep, imagine a scene where you would love to be, and eventually you will be situated in that dream. This may sound easy in theory, but it will take time and practice for it to work. The more established of a lucid dreamer you become, the easier it will be for it to happen.

A scene, for example, is essentially anything you can think of – whether or not it makes sense. Because, as you know, most lucid dreams don’t make sense which is how they can be differentiated from reality. One scene which could be imagined would be bouncing on the clouds. Because of the impossibility of this ever happening in reality, it will increase the amount of awareness gained in the dream, which is the goal of this method.

To enhance this method further, as you visualize the dream scene, a good idea would be to add emotion to the dream. A dream is more than likely going to be memorable if particular emotions were used in the dream. That being said, negative emotions can cause conflict in the dream. This includes watching a scary movie before attempting this dream scene method, or if you had experienced trauma at some stage in your life. Unfortunately this can also lead to reoccurring nightmares which you generally won’t want to remember. From this, using positive emotions for the dream will allow for a more memorable lucid dream opposed to some negative experience.

collegeMethod #5: Practice Self-Awareness


Once you’re in a lucid dream, a combination of techniques can be used to reinforce the fact you are dreaming, and not awake. As soon as you become lucid, begin exploring your surroundings by looking around you and choosing a target found interesting. This can be accomplished through doing a 360 from whatever position you’re in. As you observe shapes and objects, you will find that the objects may begin to either shrink or grow, which is not uncommon. As you expect to see the impossible, it will happen which will assure you’re in a dream which consequently will improve yourself awareness.



From these 5 different methods used to improve self awareness, you can be confidently assured that each hold benefits you can use to your advantage. I personally found that looking at my hands made me instantly know I was in a dream, and from then onwards using the 5 different methods I was able to remember my dream vividly and was completely aware of my lucid dream throughout.



Kerry McGlone is a Lucid Dreaming enthusiast, and creator of

As a frequent researcher, she has attained knowledge and experience on lucid dreams, resulting in an enhanced understanding and having the passion to share knowledge with others. If you’re interested in becoming a lucid dreamer, feel free to give Dream Lucidly a visit!

New Help: Emotional Aspects of Dyslexia



Elaine Barnes B.A. (Hons) Counselling
Elaine Barnes B.A. (Hons)

Elaine Barnes and Susan Jane Smith have just launched a new audio website that is aimed at people who have dyslexia or a personal/professional interest. focuses primarily on the emotional issues that people with dyslexia may experience.  The psychological damage to self esteem can be considerable.


Elaine says, “Susan and I were discussing our experiences as counsellors and particularly how difficult it can be for clients with dyslexia to access relevant therapeutic and educationally based information during the counselling process.  In that moment, a lightning bolt of an idea hit us and we were both excited by the possibility of creating a website with an audio facility.”

                                  – Susan Jane Smith B.Sc.


Susan and Elaine are both avid readers.  Therefore, it was quite natural for them to signpost clients to a range of self help books for their client’s independent learning outside the therapy room.  In follow up sessions it became apparent clients with dyslexia were reluctant to read or write within   counselling sessions or keep a journal at home to record thoughts and feelings.  They were always left with a sense that these clients were being deprived just because they had a condition that made the written word challenging to absorb and understand.


People admitting to difficulties in literacy can feel embarrassed and ashamed.  ‘I am stupid’ is often said by people with dyslexia and that is partly because that is how society has perceived dyslexia.  Susan and Elaine hate the idea that someone has had experiences whilst growing up, attending school or going to work that have made them feel this way about themselves – it hits directly at their confidence and self esteem.  This self belief can be incredibly damaging and debilitating.


Susan Susan Jane Smith B.Sc. Director Healthy Emotions Ltd.
Susan Jane Smith B.Sc.
Healthy Emotions Ltd.

People with dyslexia are not stupid!  Research has shown that they are born using a different part of the brain than the rest of us and that it is genetic.  The consequence is that they have difficulty reading, writing and spelling.


However, if it is caught early enough and they have the right education they can do whatever they want with their lives.  Dyslexia does not have to be a handicap. “You can turn it into a gift” is the message Elaine and Susan want the public to understand.


In reality, people with dyslexia are often bright, intelligent and successful in life.  An example is that people with dyslexia are 5 times more likely to be entrepreneurs e.g. Richard Branson.  Some famous actors have dyslexia: Kara Tointon, Keira Knightley, Henry Winkler and Orlando Bloom to name but a few.  Other areas in which people with dyslexia flourish are engineering, architecture, sales and creative arts such as cookery and floristry. is an audio website Susan and Elaine hope will plug a gap in the market and give people with dyslexia easier access to information that can help to change their lives for the better.  Information is power!  When people fully understand the impact of the past and the effect it’s having on the present, they can change their future.  Susan and Elaine are able to provide training to organisations interested in the emotional aspects of dyslexia.


At there is a Store with self help e-books covering emotional issues and these can be downloaded onto Kindles and computers both of which can read aloud.  There are audio books and aids like special pens to make life easier.  The Resources and Blogs provide more information.  See a variety of videos via the Healthy Emotions YouTube channel.  Through the Newsletter it is intended that people can learn about the increasing research into dyslexia. There is a Forum to share experiences of dyslexia.


Healthy Emotions is proud to be an Organisational Member of the British Dyslexia Association.

Playing Your Music Ladies?


From the Editor, Tomaca

Guitar lessons anyone? Piano? I am still on this issue because after my last post, I had some women hit me back and say things like, “I’ve always wanted to learn how to play the cello” — or the sax or piano, etc.  I friend of mine who is 45 and is learning how to play the drums thanked me for writing about it because though she feels good about what she’s doing, other people think she’s a little off her rocker for pursuing such a thing.  But, she’s not.  And, she has the support of her children, who think it’s really cool.  She gets to sit in from time to time with the church band and play.  She’s not that good just yet, but if she keeps at it, she will be.  If I, at my age, can pursue understanding how to play a piano, you can pursue your passion for playing music.   I may never be a concert pianist, but that’s okay.  I am excited about every little new thing that I learn to do.  I like the tones, the sound and it helps me as a vocalist with my ear training and phrasing.

If you want to get your groove on with guitar, there are a great places where you can get your gear.  And, once you get rolling with that guitar, you can get fancy with it by using bigsby tremolo at musicians friend.

So if you dream of being a music creator or participating in music beyond playing air guitar or singing along with the words, take action.

Schools are starting soon.  Make sure that music and art are a part of your child’s education.  Art and music are essential ingredients in life, not just for them, but also for us – the parents.  They say that art imitates life, but often life will imitate art and it is the creativity and the art in all of us that make the world a better place.

Some people may say, “I’m not an artist.”  I don’t believe that.  Art does not mean just painting, drawing or playing an instrument.  It is a way of life.  There is an art to everything that is done, from fixing automobiles to cooking, to managing people.  Everyone is gifted at something or some things.  Maybe you’re a great cook; people are always complimenting your food.  Maybe that little kid down the street is so inspired by the way you always stop to say hello and ask about their day.  Maybe you pets are extremely well-behaved because you’ve done a great job of training them — and people come to you for pointers.  There is an art to everything that is done.  Find your strengths, add strength to your weaknesses and enjoy your life.  The better you are at being you, the happier and healthier you and the people you impact become.  Okay!  Lecture finished.  Party on.  Play your music your way!

The Handy Woman


 From the Editor


As women, we have to learn how to do things for our selves more.  We need to know how to do carpentry, upholstery, repair our computers, fix a broken toilet and even how to get the lawn mower to turn over when it won’t.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with being “handy” and having a wide variety of skills.  It all boils down to one skill though – being able to get it done on your own.

I know a woman who fixes her own car.  The only time she goes for help is if the car has to go up on a lift and that’s only because she doesn’t have one.  She also repairs her own plumbing, hangs her own sheet rock and cooks great food.  That’s me too – only without the car fixing part… and…er.. the cooking – I’m okay with it – not great.

I was fortunate to have a dad who fixed everything and he taught all of his children that we could do the same thing.   My dad fixed cars and you would think I would have picked up on something, but I guess I chose not to.  But, I can do carpentry work, some plumbing work, know how to change the oil in my car, can hang my own sheet rock and OWN and can use professional tools like a sawzall and other types of saws, drills, and welding equipment.    Okay, with the welding stuff, I don’t do anything heavy duty.  I have a small welder and use it for jewelry and have done some pipe welding with the supervision of my brothers.  (I’ll mention that if I need welding supplies, I get them on-line.  I find the prices a little more reasonable.)

Fortunately, I have not had to deal with any men with ego problems because I’m a woman who can do what they can’t (YET).   I am happy to teach them and a lot of men are willing students.   But, it’s good to know a variety of repair things because if you ever do need to call an expert for help, you have some knowledge of what they need to do, how long it should take them and a general idea of what a fair price would be.

But, most importantly, it’s about empowering yourself, educating yourself and preparing yourself to take care of you and your household.  How do you learn?  Youtube has lessons about everything you’d ever want to know.  Some of the larger hardware stores hold in-house classes and we all have friends who know how to do a variety of things.  It’s simply a matter of asking to be taught.  Maybe even volunteer to work with a handyman (or woman) for a few days in exchange for being able to learn – ?

Remember, that whatever you do, your children are apt to follow.  They certainly watch us.  So, even if we think they are not paying attention, they are and remember that you are their greatest source of inspiration.  If you set a good example, you are also teaching them at the same time.  So, ladies, if you’re not handy, there’s nothing wrong with gettin’ handy!





Seeking Soul Satisfaction – Kim Chernecky


Do we know why we’re here?  Do we know what to do with ourselves and our gifts?  All of us are on a journey.  Sometimes we’re blessed early on to see the signs and hear the messages that give our lives direction.  Kim Chernecky devotes her life to helping others through the charity that she established and through the motivational services that she offers.  She tells us how she got there.



From a very early age, you were subjected to a myriad of circumstances that you had no control over. For instance, you were moved so much that you attended a total of 11 different schools. You chose not to be a victim. At such a young age, how did you know not to be a victim of your circumstances? Who taught you to look at things objectively and to learn from them?

Like so many people, I come from a broken home. My father and my birth mother were just kids when I arrived on the scene. They weren’t ready and didn’t know how to be parents, but they did their best. My birth mother’s mother (my maternal grandmother) offered her no support. She was, let’s see how we can say this…not a nice woman. I learned later that her mother’s abusive behavior was the reason she got pregnant in the first place; to escape from a miserable home life. I don’t really know the details, but she never gave us the warm, grandmotherly-loving feeling, for sure.

Fortunately, my paternal grandparents were much more supportive. Disappointed, perhaps, but still loving and supportive. They loved her like their own daughter. With my grandparents’ help, she and my dad married and settled into the proverbial “happy married life”, but it wasn’t long before things fell apart. As is typical of teenage love, the relationship quickly became strained. My dad went to work full time and my mother threw herself into being a full-time mother, singing songs with us, taking us to the park, even ironing my diapers!  But unfortunately, in my experience, babies raising babies almost always ends in failed relationships. After just a few short years, my birth mother, who was still just a kid, just couldn’t handle raising what was, by now, two small children. Overwhelmed by marriage and motherhood, she left to find herself.

Throughout the turmoil of these very early years, my grandparents, especially my grandmother, played a big part in my life. My grandmother was my rock. Our relationship has always been more of a mother-daughter relationship than grandmother-grand-daughter. (My grandmother passed away recently but I know she is still with me and I still turn to her for guidance.) When my father was drafted into the army, my grandparents became our legal guardians and we were blessed to live with them for a while.

My father’s decision to remarry so we could “have a mother” was a big turning point in my life. His second wife wasn’t any more prepared to raise children than my birth mother. In fact, because we weren’t her children, she was probably even less prepared, and we suffered for it. At first, we idolized her. She was a beautiful woman, tall, brunette…she wore fancy makeup. In the beginning, she tried to be nice and fill the “mom” role. But soon it was obvious she resented our presence and the attention our father gave us. I did my best to be the perfect kid, always being extra helpful but it would never be good enough.

Without going into details here, let it suffice to say that it didn’t take long before I became depressed and suicidal. I fantasized about running away and living in a cave in the woods, just to escape. But it was during these years that I think my character was really tested. And it was during these years that I learned just how strong I really was.

The defining moment for me came when I was just in the 2nd or 3rd grade. I can remember exactly where I was standing, at the foot of my bed with the sun shining through the window. I could see the house next door out the window. My beloved Siamese cat was on the bed. At that moment, I had the thought that I should go to the kitchen, get a steak knife, and slit my wrists. I pictured doing it. But in that second, I also got a distinct message that told me “it’s not you, it’s her”. Maybe it was a message from God or maybe it was my guardian angel that showed me in that moment that the problem was her, and that I didn’t deserve the abuse I was experiencing. Killing myself wasn’t the answer. I never considered suicide after that.
As a life coach, you help others fulfill their “soul satisfaction.” How did you get started with helping others to achieve their dreams?

I think many coaches will agree that our nature is to help others, so coaching and mentoring become a big part of who we are. We tend to go through life helping and coaching, as volunteers, as friends, as family members, and ultimately as paid coaches. For me, typical corporate jobs don’t offer the soul satisfaction I need. The opportunity to really make a difference in the lives of others is generally limited or non-existent in a typical working environment. Except in really unique jobs, I think we all tend to find ourselves searching for something more. My desire to coach as a profession grew out of that inner need to help others and to really make a difference. From a spiritual perspective, I believe we all have a purpose for being. We have lessons to learn, and lessons to teach. It’s a calling. I believe it’s part of my purpose here in this life.

How effective are your clients in creating change for themselves with your guidance?

A coach’s job is to offer guidance and support. My job as a coach is not to provide you with all the answers. My job is to help you figure out the answers on your own. Like a good leader, your team is strongest when you allow them to come into their own power. A coach’s job is not to micromanage or tell a client what to do and how to do it, per se. My job as a coach is to empower my clients to find and create their own solutions.

We all have the power within us to create the life we want. The problem is most of us let our fears, our doubts, and even the fears and doubts of others to hold us back. Change hard and taking a leap of faith is incredibly difficult for most people. For most people, the pain of their current situation must outweigh the discomfort that comes with change to take that leap. It’s easy to be complacent. While we may not be happy with our current situation, taking steps to change requires real effort and can be very scary. Success comes in baby steps. It comes from changing your mindset and believing you can. My job as a coach and mentor is helping clients take hold of the power within themselves. We all have everything we need to be successful in life.

Is there one thing that people may struggle with the most? What is it and how do you help them overcome it?

I think self-doubt and procrastination are probably at the top of the list and definitely go hand-in-hand. In my opinion, both carry equal weight when it comes to personal struggle. So many people doubt their abilities, underestimate their talents, listen to negative talk from others around them, and these things result in constant, negative self-talk. The result is we convince ourselves it can’t be done. Rather than finding reasons that something can’t be done we need to focus on what we can do. The self-doubt ends up resulting in chronic procrastination because when you don’t believe something is possible, you have no incentive to make an effort to achieve it.

I approach personal goals like business. Starting with what’s known as a SWOT analysis, if we examine a problem, obstacle, or sticking point from this perspective, we can determine what our: Strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats are. We then create a plan of action taking all of these things into account. Often, just by making a list of strengths and opportunities, it reinforces just how capable we really are. That’s a mindset change! Being aware of the weaknesses and threats to achieving your goal simply allows you to plan accordingly. You don’t have to go through the mountain. You just need to know it’s there and find a way over or around it.
Let’s talk about Compassionate Community Services. What is your overall goal with the organization?

My primary goal with Compassionate Community Services is and always has been to help individuals on a one-to-one basis. Our public assistance programs fail to reach far too many people in need. Red tape, lack of transportation, language barriers, social stigma, pride…these things all come into play for many people who really need assistance. My overall goal is to allow others to replicate what we have done all around the country. We have been able to collect and distribute millions of dollars of in-kind donations to those in need with an all-volunteer staff. No salaries, little to no overhead. It can be done.

But another very important aspect of what we do is how our organization impacts our donors. Accepting help is a tremendously humbling experience. It is incredibly difficult for many of our recipients to ask for and receive assistance. Critics will point fingers and accuse people of milking the system, but the truth is these are often our friends and neighbors. Of course, there are those that systematically take advantage, but the majority are just people who fell on hard times.

Many of our recipients are struggling middle class families, who suffered a job loss, fire, illness, death…We help the homeless, single moms, elderly, chronically ill…It is often said that you get more from giving than getting, and in so many cases I really believe that’s true. The expression, “there but for the grace of God, go I” often runs through my head. And for my donors and volunteers, I think their involvement reminds them how blessed we all are. It has always meant more to me on a soul level to be able to help than it does to “have stuff”. I am not a material girl!

There is a scene from Schindler’s List at the end of the movie when he realizes he is still wearing a ring and a pin that could have saved the life of another person. The personal anguish is palpable in this scene and just thinking about it makes me cry. As an individual, I understand that anguish. I know how much it pains me not to help when someone needs it. We can all do something. My organization has allowed and encouraged others to reach out and help in whatever way they can, big or small. To know we can do something to help is empowering and gratifying to all of us. As Mother Teresa said, “If you can’t feed a hundred people, feed just one.”

Why did you start it?

My girls were little at the time. Janice, the oldest was about three and Jennifer was just a baby. My boys came along later. They all grew up with the organization. I remember sitting in my living room and literally having an epiphany. That’s the only way to describe it. The idea just popped into my head that I should do something to help others who didn’t have anything. It was almost like, “Oh yeah, I almost forgot, we need to get milk and eggs.” The idea was just suddenly there. I started with small collections and it quickly grew.

Your organization has been active since 1988. Is it easy to find and maintain funding in this economy?

It’s never easy to raise funds in our society. Raising money can be a full-time job, unless you have connections in really high places. But to me, that’s wrong, anyway. We are all familiar with pork projects and lobbyists. If getting needed funds is going to depend on compromising integrity, it’s not worth it. We see many non-profits that have huge budgets where only a fraction of the money taken in goes to the actual cause.

We don’t work like that. We function at a grass-roots level, on the front lines. Person to person. In our case, we have been fortunate to have been able to function on a shoestring budget. Because it’s an all-volunteer organization, there is no need for high overhead, big salaries, bonuses, rent, etc. People just come together to get the job done because we want to.

It’s always been quite easy to get donations of things. Donors appreciate the fact that everything they donate is given directly to the people in need. You have boys clothes that don’t fit your child? We have a little boy that needs them. You have food in your pantry to share? We have families that are hungry. You received a gift you’re never going to use? We have a single mom that would love to get a bottle of cheap perfume. Your church wants to provide Thanksgiving baskets to families that need it, we can drop it off for you. It’s personal.

One of the things that keeps our donors motivated is sharing stories of individuals that their donations have helped. One story I often share is about a little, 8-year-old girl. Each Christmas we match donors from the community, and a dedicated group of BIC Corp. donors and volunteers with children and families they can help. We give each family a wish list where they can tell us the child’s sizes, and any toys they might want. One year, on the wish list, when asked what she wanted for Christmas, this little girl wrote “washcloths”. She didn’t ask for toys. She didn’t ask for a fancy gadget. She just wanted washcloths.

To me, this is a perfect example of the disconnect in America. The haves and the have-nots. When an 8-year-old living in the wealthy Northeast asks for washcloths for Christmas, something needs to change. And this simple story reminds us all that we can all do something to help, and we should all feel morally obligated to do so because we can. It’s these kinds of scenarios that happen over and over again that make me want to keep on helping.

Unfortunately, getting donations of money is harder. But we have been fortunate to always have enough to make a real difference. And when a specific need arises, we can count on our long-time supporters to help by just simply putting the word out. Getting people to volunteer their time is the hardest. Many of us have good intentions but life gets in the way. But for those that do volunteer, they are in it for life.

CCS has helped lots of people. What kind of help do you need from others?

My vision for the organization has always been to replicate what we have done in Connecticut and help others around the country. Rather than focus on one area of the nation, I would love to see others start similar programs and organizations where they are. Look around you. The need is there. A guide is in the works to help others who are interested in creating their own organizations in their local communities. They are welcome to reach out to me for more information about that.

I recently moved to Florida, and the need here is just as great, if not greater. The baton has been handed off in Connecticut to capable volunteers who continue to help those in need. I still hear from many of my CT clients on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. I definitely foresee new programs here in Florida.

I am currently working on a nationwide youth leadership program that will enable at-risk kids to lift themselves up and break the cycle of poverty. It is a coaching program specifically targeting young people. The goal is to make the program available to inner-city schools around the nation, where many of these kids live. I am seeking corporate sponsors for the program if anyone is interested in making a contribution to this worthwhile cause. All donations are tax-deductible but more importantly, it will change lives for generations to come. I would love to hear from anyone interested in helping with this much-needed project. (They can contact me directly through Linkedin.)

Maintaining a positive outlook for your organization and helping others to find brighter horizons for themselves takes energy. How do you recharge yourself?

Creative people will understand when I say this, but doing this type of work is actually energizing! It pumps me up! When you are passionate about what you are doing, the energy just flows. My advice for anyone looking to feel that energy: get involved! Start your own program! Help someone else! It’s better than a bottle full of adrenalin! Helping my clients excites me. I can’t wait to see what they can accomplish!

Not long ago, I was attending a baby shower and struck up a conversation with the woman next to me. It turns out she desperately wanted to write a book. In fact, she had been dabbling in it for years, a novel. Our conversation energized us both. I was so excited for her and gave her advice and encouragement to pursue that dream. I even gave her some assignments to do when she went home to keep her on track. She ended up having a mini-coaching session right there at the shower!

I believe everything happens for a reason. We experience the things we need to experience so we can learn and grow. We meet the people we are meant to meet. Maybe they are here to teach us lessons. Maybe we are here to teach them lessons. Some are in our lives for a lifetime while others come and go. The point is, each of us has a purpose in life and if we hold ourselves back, whether out of fear, ego, procrastination, or what have you, we are squandering the gifts God gave us, and we aren’t serving that purpose. Our souls remind us of what we really want and what we are here to do. I would advise anyone who feels themselves pulled in one direction or another to go for it! There’s a reason.


Kim Chernecky’s Links:

 Linked In
Seeking Soul Satisfaction

Compassionate Community Services



How is Your Emotional Health? – Susan Jane Smith

WMTS:  Susan Jane Smith is graciously giving away her book, Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth to Women Move the Soul readers.   We hope you accept your free copy, read it and then visit Susan’s website to learn about the other books that she has written and learn more about yourself, heal yourself and learn how to live a more balanced life if these are things you need to add.

Thank you Susan!



A little about Susan:

Susan Jane Smith B.Sc. was a Psychotherapist in private practice from 1987 to 2008. She has used her twenty years experience with individuals and couples to produce information that she believes will be useful to those seeking to change their lives.

Susan believes that a person’s training and experience influences their thinking so she is including her details. This will allow you to see what has shaped the ideas in her books! Professionally she was a member (number 512667) of the British Association for Counseling and Psychotherapy.

In 1996 she trained with the Family Mediators Association (member number FMA414) and in 1998 achieved Competency Recognition from the Legal Aid Board. Susan also became Accredited and a Professional Practice Consultant for the FMA. She was a member (number 0278) of the U.K. College of Family Mediators and a Professional Practice Consultant for the College until choosing to retire from mediation in 2001.

From 1987 to 1988 Susan studied at New Hampshire College in the U.S.A. for a Master of Science degree in Community Psychology. Her Father died one month before the end so she never did get that degree!




Right click on the link and choose download or click link to open.

PDF Version:  Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth – PDF

KINDLE Version:  Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth – Kindle




Susan’s contact information:


Susan Jane Smith, B.SC

Counseling in the Forest Publishing


Books that add value to your life – now live on Kindle & ebook readers!

“Hugs & Emotional Wealth Change the World”

“Pre-Marital MOT: A Relationship Inspection”

“Emotional Health for Emotional Wealth”

and the Little Book Series of Emotional Health For Emotional Wealth


Twitter @SusanJaneSmith 

You can find her on Linked In, and Google + &


Value Your Relationships As Much as You Do Your Career


Submitted by Marcia Ore, UK

“the greatness of a man is not how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and ability to affect those around him positively.”   – Bob Marley

Recent changes in my personal and professional life has, once again, provided me with the opportunity to pause and reflect and my achievements so far. Apart from my professional and personal growth by taking part in various forms of academic study, surviving my three divorces and a thirty-year police career, however, my two children must be right there at the top of the list. Why? Not because of their achievements academically or because they are high fliers in their careers, that is not what is important to me.  I have always told my children that I want them to be happy and content with their lives – a career with a grand title or five-figure some salary does not value children-1equate to success, satisfaction or happiness. All these factors mean different things to different people, which is why it is folly to compare your life with another. Do you know what they had to do to get where they are? Would you make the same choices?

My children rank top of my achievements so far due to the fact that they are great people. I am often complimented by others from various walks of life and from a variety of ages:   ‘your children are lovely…’ or  ‘…they’re a credit to you.’  It’s nice to hear I got something right, but also it’s a reminder that we can take those closest to us for granted. Not appreciating their qualities or the loss we would feel if they were no longer in our lives.


This resonates particularly strongly at this time for me as I lost my mother last year after she had suffered with dementia for many years. Even though she didn’t know who I was for the best part of the last year of her life, the void she has left will never be filled. I remember our monthly shopping trips together when she was well, a few holidays we shared and the way she would look disapprovingly over her glasses and say “Marcia” in a tone that I knew I had overstepped the mark.

An acquaintance of mine has recently been told one of her daughters is terminally ill with an incurable, rare and aggressive form of cancer, and she has down tools from her business, to devote to her daughter.

All the money or status that you achieve in your lifetime means nothing unless it had meaning and benefited others.

I have a few questions for you to ask yourself:

  • When was the last time you told your nearest and dearest you appreciated them? I didn’t say love them. The “L” word has a tendency to be over used and has become an automatic response used by many of us all too quickly as easily.valuechildren
  • What is it that you appreciate about them? Be specific, it’s like feedback –  make it SNAP. by being:

Specific: give  examples  

Non judgmental: not personal

Actionable : they can do something about it, i.e. repeatable.

Proximate : as close to the incident when it occurred.

If you want to maintain your relationship, then value them as much as you do the job you get paid to do. The currency maybe different but the loss can be just as impactive.


About the writer

Marcia Ore is a Facilitator for Development based in the UK who offers a range of developmental tools to support others with their personal, business & professional development operating in the public private and voluntary sector. Her services include coaching, mentoring and business psychometric tools. She is a member of the European Mentoring & Coaching Council, Association for Coaching and Oxford Books Coaching & Mentoring Society.

For further information about how she could support you, visit

Discovering My True Potential


Submitted by Agnes Jimenez


Some people never lived up to their full potential. I began to fear that I would become one of those people. Fortunately, I have been able to make my dreams come true because I have discovered my true potential. Below are some of the things that I have done that have helped me in discovering them.


Discovering my purpose

I would encourage anyone, especially most of today’s troubled youths, who are trying to live up to their potential to discover their purpose. Before I decided that I was going to live my dreams, I asked myself a few very important questions. What are my passions? What are my goals? What are my natural talents? How can I use these talents to help someone else? Those are the questions that I asked myself. I wrote them down and gave an honest answer to each.  After I discovered my purpose for being here, I was able to start working on it.


Putting my plan into action

There is an old adage that says, “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.” This means that even if you have what it takes, you probably will not succeed if you do not put a plan into action. I set both short-term and long-term goals. After that, I developed a plan that allowed me to reach those goals.


Monitoring how I spend my time

If you want to discover your true potential, then you will have to be very careful about how you spend your time. I once was a person who wasted a lot of time on unnecessary tasks. However, I found that it was much easier for me to stay focused on the things that I needed to do.

Every week, I make a list of the things that I need to do. I spend the majority of my time focusing on the tasks that I need to complete. Once I have completed all of the necessary tasks, I allow myself to have a little free time.


Having a strong support system

Even though I have done a lot on my own, I would not be where I am today without my support system. My mother, father, siblings and close friends have always been there to help me when I needed them.

It is worthy to take note that our families are the very basic foundation of our strength.  This is the very reason why it is very important, especially for today’s youths to have a strong family support during the crucial phase of discovering and knowing themselves.  In most cases, troubled youths have never discovered their true potentials due to the unfortunate fact that they lack the support system they badly need during the lowest and most desperate times of their lives.

Discovering your true potential is the key to gain more insight about yourself.  Having a clear picture of who you are can directly affect the choices you will make and can ultimately affect your future.  If you haven’t discovered your true potentials yet, it’s now high time you start discovering them.


About the Guest Author

Agnes Jimenez is a professional blogger and writer. She writes for many online establishments and currently partners with in spreading awareness about troubled and depressed teenagers (and how to deal with them).  Help Your Teen Now aims to increase awareness on the current psychological and societal stresses of today’s teens and how these factors affect the future of our society.

More to Life with Marcia Ore


It’s always about the passion and the journey.   Marcia Ore is a woman who asked the question “Who am I” and then answered it with her life.  From police officer to life/motivational coach.  What an interesting transition.  She shares with Women Move the Soul.


What is with Marcia Ore all about?

M’ORE 2 LIFE is the name of my company and is made from my name and also my philosophy that there is more to life than we sometimes see or experience.  I started my company as a Reiki Therapist and Master Teacher and then progressed as I became qualified in coaching and mentoring.
I have now developed the services I currently offer which includes coaching, mentoring, training, workshop facilitation, teaching English as a Foreign Language and recently as a DiSC certified trainer.


How does a police officer decide to become a motivational coach? What led you to your decision?

I have for many years coached and mentored colleagues, however my first experience of what I term ‘real coaching’ was when a senior officer asked me some open but challenging questions about where I saw my career in 5 years time. That conversation changed my life and the way I approached my personal and professional development. However, it was not until the breakdown of my third marriage that I re-evaluated my life, taking into account that I would reach pensionable police retirement age and asked myself “What are you going to do when you retire, because the chances are you’ll be on your own?
Also, in my role as a Police Officer I started to question how much of a difference I was actually making to peoples lives, and felt that supporting individuals development was another way of making a tangible difference which meant people took responsibility for their lives and do not become reliant on others.


Are the individuals who come to you for help motivated to help themselves or is that something you help them to develop?

I believe the first step to self motivation is when individuals contact me, recognizing that they either want to or need to change their lives, however they usually are not sure what they want and how to go about getting what they want.Though some clients cannot keep up their motivational levels, and whilst i can support and encourage them, I cannot do it for them.


Marcia with her children

We all have ups and downs. How do you stay motivated or “up” yourself?

I relish challenges and I have had many in my life. I am quite stubborn and if I am told I cannot do something, not capable, under estimated or not valued that tends to drive my engine. Also my two children Matthew (24) and Lucianne (17) and my partner Donna support me with my motivational levels when they start to flag. I may be a coach but I’m human and I have my moments when I need support and encouragement.

I have a professional relationship with a fellow coach and we peer coach and supervisor each other.


You also do public speaking. How do you come to be invited to speak in various places?
I get invited to events to speak at which are concerned with personal and professional development, particularly from the perspective of minority groups such as women and black and ethnic minorities.


If you do speak publicly, do the people that hire you give you the subject matter, or do you have your own topics and agenda?
The events I have spoken at have been primarily within the context of Policing and the UK Criminal Justice System. As my specialty is personal and professional development for minorities then that’s what I talk about sharing my personal experience and providing practical suggestions which will help individuals with their development.


How are you able to help anyone with any subject? For instance, if someone wants to be a fashion designer and they are currently a school bus driver, how would you help them?

That’s an interesting question as I am currently a mentor with the Princes Trust and my menthe’s business is online fashion. The process is the same regardless, you help the individual re-evaluate their personal and professional lives as the two are inextricably linked, if change one it will impact on the other and vice versa.  Identify what they want and what they don’t want and then devise a strategy, the journey and the route, to get them from where they are to where they want to be.
The strategy should build in flexibility as sometimes, and its happened on my journey, I’ve had to take detours to get where I want to be provided they were enabled and were not barriers or massive hurdles.

I would also advocate they research their chosen professional/career and I would also do some

Marcia motivates!

research so I had some understanding when we discussed the journey.

I believe everyone has ability to realize their potential and be successful. The questions they should ask themselves is what does success look like, feel like, sound like for them NOT anyone else, and what are they prepared or not prepared to do to achieve?

Many of us live our lives for others or through others, but how many of us are happy, content or feel fulfilled living like that, or existing live that. There is M’ORE 2 LIFE!!



Artwork by

Don’t we all think we’re Superwoman?


We keep at it until the job is done.  We work, clean, cook, do laundry, dishes, comb hair, iron clothes, drop this one here and that one there, go to work, take care of our man (emotionally and physically)…need I say more?


My Mom is the greatest superwoman that I know.  She had ten kids and was married to an air force officer. Because of that, she traveled all over the world and the U.S. with all those kids to keep the family together while my father was in the service.  When he retired, she started her own nursing career, which she had put on hold while he was enlisted.  She worked until she was 75 and retired from two different places.  Plus she always made sure all of us kids had what we needed.  Amazing.


She’s 90 now and recently was rushed to the hospital for difficulty breathing.  She has congestive heart failure and caught pneumonia which caused her lungs to fill up with fluid.  After two days in the ICU and under sedation, she woke up and pulled the respirator out – told the doctors and nurses that she didn’t need it and to get her out of ICU.  Who’s going to argue with my mom?  I mean, really.  You just don’t do that.


So, she spent another four days in a regular room, recuperating and healing and was sent home with oxygen.  Of course, all of her children are present and available for her every need, every whim.  We’re probably smothering her.  But, my mom being who she is, will tell us to go home whenever she’s ready.


90 years is a long time.  During her childhood they were still using horse and buggy carriages.  They grew their own food, put oil in the lamps so they would have light in the house, chopped wood and burned it in the wood stove to heat the house. She has come from there to here where lights come on at a flick of a switch; heat is on at the turn of a dial; internet, cell phones, apps, gadgets – food is purchased at a grocery store… She’s seen so much and adapted to every change.


She’s a real superwoman.  As tough as I may think I am, I know I don’t have her inner strength.  They broke the mold when that little girl came into the world. All I can do is try to follow her example.  She’s shown me the way to superwomanhood.


Who in your life is your superwoman example?



Please note:  art by MaseOne at




What 60? Me?

By Dr. Nancy J. Nelson

I think 60 year old women are not supposed to spread their arms and pretend they are airplanes (complete with zaroom noise) while walking in the park. I don’t think they can pretend they are fairies fluttering with delicate wings from a yellow flower to an orange flower. Or skip with a big grin on their face while singing some song from their youth. Well, I guess it is okay if they are with a grandchild. But alone?


December I will be 60. When 60 years passed I have no idea. I always thought I’d reach my idea of an adult by now. However, I still sleep cuddled up with my stuffed bear (and of course my two dogs.) I love hot chocolate in the winter and ice cream causes my eyes to glitter in the summer. Flowers are imagined as fairy dresses and having fun, as always, is my primary goal. So I check to see if anyone is nearby before I twirl in the middle of the sidewalk pretending I am wearing a light pink tutu. I hide this part of me from a judging public’s eyes.


Now don’t get me wrong. I’ve done a lot of adult things like get an education, work, live alone and support myself. I’ve attended boring professional dinners and conventions. Speaking with political correctness while boiling inside and leaving any sign of passion outside when dealing with issues was a great skill.  But I’ve never given up my childish ways. Now I will be 60. The age, as each age, is welcome. I mean, think of the senior discounts. I am still me, still happy. A world of fantasy, art, music, and dreams of love still remain. Yet I feel publicly I must display the dignity I did as a higher education administrator and professor while inside I am dancing as I did at 20.


Perhaps the difference with 60 is some things I do such as those in the opening paragraph must be hidden. But wait until 80! At 80 I won’t care who sees or thinks I’m crazy. I’ll just smile sweetly and keep dancing in the middle of the street wearing a rainbow tutu and wig.

Dr. Nancy J Nelson

“Just Enjoy Life,” Mom