New to the world of naturalists, I must admit that I have good days and bad. My BC or big chop was Oct 7, 2011. My hair type is 4c (for those who type hair) with only about 50% curl pattern. My hair is very tightly coiled and dry which requires daily moisturizing (some days multiple times). I’m still learning my natural hair and I’m very much a product junky. My hair routine consist of co-washing multiple times a week and shampooing every 2-4 weeks depending on the amount and types of products I’ve used.
I loved my TWA (teeny weeny afro), however, my afro is now in that in-between stage. And don’t get me wrong, I still love my curls—some days they don’t love me. Nevertheless, I know that if I stick it out, I will be pleased. So when I’m weak and the temptation of the creamy crack (relaxer) is strong, I cope by looking to other naturalists for inspiration and remind myself that they were once “here” in the awkward phase. Why did I choose to go natural? Everyone’s natural hair journey is different. My journey is being utilized as a tool for symbolizing new beginnings and transformation—Afromation.
As a victim of domestic violence, my life and actions were controlled by fear based on past events. Not acknowledging my experience had eaten away at the core of who I was & wanted to be. I learned how to hide my experience behind fake smiles and by never dealing with my feelings and pain. That was until my brother passed some eighteen years later and all those previous feelings, memories, and emotions came flooding back. My brother’s death was the point that brought me to my knees. It opened my eyes, mind, heart and soul to all those locked away feelings which could no longer be hidden.
To help deal with the pain from my past, I started counseling and was diagnosed with PTSD. I began to write as a secondary form of therapy in addition to counseling. My writings became a big part of the revelations guiding my healing process. I feel it is now my mission to share my writings with others to provide them encouragement and to let them know that there is a light. I recently released a self-published book titled,Walking in Her Shoes. Additionally, to complete my afromation, I cut off my chemically treated hair.
However, my afromation is deeper than hair; it’s affirmation of self-seeking deeper understanding of how to regain control of my life. Understanding how I got to the here-and-now and where I’m going. Understanding the stripped down, naked version of my previous self, before domestic violence. A time in which I was completely honest and open with my feelings, emotions. Understanding how to become the person I want to be—not hiding behind the image of who other people think I should be — simple, naturally me.
Initially when this article was published, I thought that my purpose was to sell the book. During the publishing of the article (I also created a Facebook page) I realized that my purpose would be more effective as an advocate of spreading awareness and decreasing the feeling of loneliness among DV victims.
To buy the book Afromation’s book, which is a collection of poetry, click here.
To join the group on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/SeekingAfromation