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I’m A Survivor

by Josayne M Anderson-Tejera


As a youth I was raised in a “traditional” Christian home where the spiritual things were over emphasized while the daily, practical ways of life were pushed to the side, like a candle under the bed. For myself I confused humility (freedom from pride and arrogance) with allowing people to treat me any kind of way; which led me to allow my college boyfriend to verbally, emotionally and physically abuse me.

Some of it was also was also generational. One of my mentors, Jose Villegas III quoted in his book “The Emotional Prisoner”, a situation where he recalled a daughter asked her mom why she cut both ends of the ham she replied to her daughter because my mom did. That was the only reason why.

Such behaviors were also passed down in my family as well, like sticking with your spouse regardless of what they did to you even the extremes of domestic violence. I am here to stop this vicious cycle in my family and the lives of others, even if it is only one person at a time.

What sparked my boyfriend at a time to begin raising his hands to me was the result of me becoming pregnant by him. He told me I had only had option that was to have an abortion, which was the option I did not choose. After having my beautiful, baby girl I could no longer think it was ok to stay with someone who didn’t want anything to do with her even after it was all said and done.

The look in her eyes when she saw him physically cause me harm and yell excessively I knew I had only one option – that was to leave and never look back. If I were going to start change it had to start that day by knowing she would never have to settle for less in life, relationships and whatever she set her mind to.

Like Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle say in their song Survivor, “I’m a survivor, I’m not gonna give up,…”. Regardless if this has happened or is currently happening t you, you can pick up the pieces and build a bridge to the future. Destiny is the predetermined, usually inevitable or irresistible, course of events (